In today’s Gospel Story (Matthew 21:28-32) Jesus tells the parable of two brothers being asked by their father to work in the vineyard. One says yes but doesn’t go, and other says no and later changes his mind and goes. The majority report sees this parable as along the lines of “actions speak louder than words”. As usual, the minority report can be as uncomfortably personal as I let it.
The readings for today seem to talk about personal responsibility and our openness to and relationship with Abba in our everyday living. As we prepare to hear the Gospel, we pray the Alleluia Verse: “My sheep hear my voice, says the Lord; I know them, and they follow me”. The Gospel Story might well be speaking about our ongoing journey of conversion and the choices we make along the way. In the Epistle Paul says, “Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory”. No simple thing. We all have dealt with bruised egos and out of joint noses. If we let it, the Story can also be about humility as we realize from time to time we are are own worst enemy and have to backtrack — in military parlance, fall back, adjust fire, re-engage.
In various ways Jesus speaks to us, and we may follow him, but it involves a lot of kicking and screaming. At least in my case it does. Selfishness and vainglory are old traveling buddies as I’ve been going through life. I suspect I might not be alone in this. It’s okay. We’re all human, and trying to do our best in life that is difficult and not fair. We are in Abba, as Abba is in us. So the question always is along the lines of, “Abba, what are you saying to me in this?”. This might become an exercise in humility as I realize what Abba is saying is something I really don’t want to do, or someplace I really don’t want to go.
The first son, who says he will not work in the vineyard and later changes his mind and works, reminds me of my ongoing call to conversion, my every day journey. This can be tedious, perhaps even painful, as the Spirit leads me yet again through relationships with other people, which is pretty much my whole life. It is worth remembering that everyone in my life has the right to be in my life and the need to be in my life, as I do in theirs, because in Abba’s providence we need each other and their gifts. We all have our gifts and shortcomings, and my shortcomings are opportunities for other people’s gifts.
Jesus goes on to say to the chief priests and elders, “tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you”. These people who were considered outcasts because they did not know or follow the law. I have to be careful of seeing myself as so focused on the rules and doctrines, as important and necessary as they are, that I am not open to the Spirit happening in my life. I cannot allow myself to feel I already have all the answers as to how others should live, and so am in a position to judge them.
In the Opening Prayer of the Mass we pray: “O God, you alone judge rightly and search the depths of the heart”. This is encouraging. Abba knows us as we are, better than we know ourselves. He keeps creating us as we are. This also is true of everybody in our life, with their (to me) annoying shortcomings. When we sit with this for awhile we might begin to see things differently. We are part of something much bigger than ourselves, and this something is good. And so the Spirit moves me toward my own exercise of humility, often a difficult and painful journey of self-discovery. What I find disturbing is that some folks are judged for using the “wrong” bible, not being “Catholic enough”, others judged for how they see themselves or who they love, These judgements are alleged to be done in Jesus’ name. What I have to be careful of is that I not in turn, to satisfy my anger, begin to judge those who are judging, and so become part of the problem myself. What is Abba saying in this? Jesus reminds us that Abba loves all of us, the judged and the judgers. Living this has to become for me an operational value, not just a stated value.
With all the “stuff” going on these days there are some really annoying things happening. In them I hear the call yet again. I don’t really want to hear it, but it is there from deep inside. So, what to do with it, where do I go? Where is the Shepherd leading me? Is that a question we can all ask? Could it be that the vineyard in the story is a metaphor of my life, my values, my way of doing things, and the owner is a metaphor for Abba? Is Abba telling me to look at my own life again and see what I have to do to make it grow better? Hearing the parable in this sense is not a pleasant experience, yet it seems to be a necessary part of my ongoing journey of conversion. This has happened often over the years, especially the Army, as I had to re-invent myself every three years or so, from assignment to assignment. It has always been challenging and difficult, but has ended in a better place. Lots of letting go. It has always involved others in my life, and my reaction to them, often simple changes in every day stuff. And so it seems to be these days. I’ve worked in a few real vineyards, a tedious experience, clipping shoots, picking some grapes and leaving others on the vine for whatever reason. There was always (annoyingly) close supervision from the monks. A real endurance of “enforced” humility. Sometimes parables are very real. Just sayin . . .