Today’s Gospel Story (Matthew 18:21-35) and the other readings, talk about forgiveness and compassion, “How often must I forgive?, As many as seven times? Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times”. The majority report sees this Story as reminding us of the importance of forgiveness in our every day living. As usual the minority report can be as disturbingly personal as I let it.
Psalm, “The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion”. Gospel: how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. Alleluia Verse, “I give you a new commandment, says the Lord: love one another as I have loved you”. Sirach 27:30—28:7 “Wrath and anger are hateful things . . . Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven”. When I let them, these works speak to the nitty gritty of my everyday living.
Often on my journey, which I really hope is a journey of conversion, I come to realize that there are a lot of folks I have to forgive simply for not being who I think they should be, folks who are doing things that mess up how I want things to go. Obviously this is my problem, not anyone else’s, the symptoms of a bruised ego and out of joint nose.
“The Lord is slow to anger and rich in compassion”, which reminds me, if I am sincere in wanting to live as a disciple of Jesus, I need to be rich in compassion, not to mention slow to anger, which is not a big problem at this stage of my journey, since I’m not in charge of anything any more and don’t have to make decisions that affect other people. This s a tall order, and it is not a choice. Yet, it is easier for me to point out others who I think lack compassion than to look at myself and my egregious lack of compassion. It would help if I had some idea of what it means to live compassion every day, which I don’t think I do. I do know that it does not call me for me to bury my head in the sand when there are hurtful things going on around me.
All of this can either be superficial, or I can take the opportunity to let the Spirit lead me to take a good look at myself. No doubt I will will see things in me that I don’t like. This also is of Abba. If I’m serious about living the Welcome Prayer, the “annoying people” in my life are a gift of Abba to me, as I am to them. I need to keep this as not just a stated value, but definitely as an operational value. No matter what my situation is at any given time, there are two questions I have to keep asking: what is Abba saying to me in this situation, and what course of action better leads to Abba’s deepening life in me? While I might have to choose a course of action to deal with someone else’s action, I can never make a judgement about the person themselves. Every one of us has a story others will never know, and every one of us is carrying a burden, perhaps a cross, that no one else will ever know. And so my constant prayer has to be for the grace to live as Abba is asking me to Iive in any particular situation, whatever it may be.
Whatever we choose to do or not do needs to be based on prayer and openness to the Spirit guiding us and helping us know what we are called to do as disciples of Jesus in this moment. We need to remember that we are all good people trying to make the best of a life that is often difficult and confusing, even unfair. None of us has all the answers, and in the the Spirit Jesus sends, we need to listen to and respect each other, and not hit each other over the head with laws and name calling, something which really can hurt. There is enough hurt, we don’t need to bring more. Abba invites us to bring, even to be, his healing to every one we meet. In our own way, on our own journey, in some way we have come to experience Abba’s healing love for us, and this is what we try to live.
Each of us is created to be where we are at this point of our journey. Everything that has gone on in our life journey so far has prepared us for where we are now. Abba looks at us as we are, loves us as we are, and wouldn’t change a thing, no matter how many people would tell us how bad we are for whatever reason. Each of us right now at this time, with all the people who are in our life, is exactly where we need to be for our relationship in Abba to go ever deeper. We are already in Abba’s presence. What is missing is our awareness. And in whatever is going on in my life, the Spirit is inviting me to go deeper, to continue my journey of transformation. And perhaps I need to look at being compassionate to myself.
Some among us have so much pain in their life that the only way they can deal with it is. To impose it on others. On my journey I spent many years living this, and it is not nice. The only way we can recognize this is when we begin our healing. Otherwise nothing is ever our fault, and there is always someone else to blame, so we don’t have to take any responsibility ourselves. This is real pain. If we know people in our life who are like this, it might be that Abba is offering us the privilege of helping them carry their cross, which itself may be our cross.
Teilhard de Chardin, “Above all, trust in the slow work of God; Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete”. and to know everybody in my life has the need and the right to be in my life, because in the providence of Abba who loves us all, we need each other’s gifts. Just sayin . . .