In today’s Gospel Story (Matthew 10:26-33) Jesus in various ways is talking to his disciples about fear, telling him that as they follow his way of living they may annoy people and have a difficult life, but they do not need to be afraid. This is how the majority opinion sees this Story. As usual, the minority opinion can be much different, because each of us hears it in the setting of our own life circumstances.
Psalm: “Lord, in your great love, answer me”. Alleluia: “The Spirit of truth will testify to me, says the Lord; and you also will testify”. Gospel: “Fear no one”. “What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light.” These words offer a worthwhile attitude for our daily living, as well as offer insights to the readings themselves. Written in the past, they are speaking to us now in our present, which is the future of the time they were written. Perhaps we might make a few “changes”: “Lord in you great love your are answering me.” “The Spirit of truth is testifying to me.” “Fear no one.”
Abba “answers” all our prayers. How, if, we recognize this depends a lot on our idea of who Abba is for us. If our idea of Abba is some kind of a “super being” out there somewhere, we will have a difficult time coming to now him as an intimate part of ourself. Abba is in us as we are in Abba. We are on a journey from Abba, with Abba, to Abba, constantly growing to the extent we are open. These words invite us to an attitude of consent, of openness to things as they are, to people as we are among each other. When I consent to what Abba is doing in my life, I live open to possibility. Gradually I become aware that I am a part of something, Someone, much greater than I, and this Someone is good. This changes a lot how I see everyday living. Consent is a basic attitude, a way of living. It is not passive but very active because things often will not go as I want them to. People will not live as I want them to. This seems to make no sense, but as we keep trying to live it, a lot in us changes, while our circumstances remain the same. We just come to know them in a different setting. And so we are aware we are living a bit different from before. This is both a shock and something for which we are becoming most grateful. We might notice a sense of “perspective” and “flexibility” as the Spirit guides us on our journey, helping us sense how to live as Jesus’ disciples.
“Fear no one.” Other people can be a source of fear for us. As we move along on our journey we come to know them, annoying as they might seem, as also part of a greater Someone who is good. None of this means things will get easy for us. Life will go on, but how we live life changes. Henri Nouwen: “People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God.” This biggest thing is an awareness, even a knowing, that we are in no way every alone. This makes quite a difference in our every day living, as gradually we become aware of other people’s importance to us, and even the necessity for us to be in each other’s lives. In Abba’s loving providence, we need each other’s gifts. This goes both for the folks we are aware of and know, as well as those we don’t know. Our circumstances may not change, but how we see them and live them is constantly changing as we do our best to be open to the Spirit.
“What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light.” Gradually our prayer life changes our every day living. We begin to see things differently. It is not necessarily a matter of new ideas, but our prayer life seems to change the values we use to make our decisions. At first we are aware of this only in retrospect, but gradually we come to sense this as it is happening. Mother Theresa: “Prayer is putting ourselves in the hands of God, at his disposition, and listening to his voice in the depth of our hearts.” Pádraig Ó Tuama: “Prayer is a small fire lit to keep cold hands warm. Prayer is a practice that flourishes both with faith and doubt. Prayer is asking, and prayer is sitting. Prayer is the breath. Prayer is not an answer, always, because not all questions can be answered.” Teilhard de Chardin: “Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete”. Our ongoing journey.
My consent to what Abba is doing in my life is important: “I welcome everything that comes into my life today because it is of you”. This moves me to an openness and trust, a deepening awareness of Abba in my life. Letting go of my need to feel safe and in control, of wanting things to go my way, has been a long and arduous journey that is still happening. Old habits die hard, but gradually they fall off, often not by choice, but by recognition as I notice differences in my choices. I’ve learned by experience that my way has too much me in it, and not enough about others or the mission. A bruised ego or out of joint nose is more common than I’d like to admit, and recognizing it is annoyingly humbling. The Story reminds me that Abba knows me better than I know myself. It’s taken a long time to come to an insight of what this means in my every day living, and it’s beginning to mean a lot more than I ever thought it would. “Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s knowledge. Even all the hairs of your head are counted.” Abba knows and loves me as I am. At times this is obvious, other times not so much. All of this is an invitation to let the Spirit move us to an ever-deepening relationship in the Trinity that happens in our every day living. Gradually this becomes a real experience as the next big step on our journey becomes something we no longer fear, but even look forward to. An ongoing journey of becoming who we are created to be, another word for salvation. There might be some kind of a message to me happening in all this. Don’t know what it is. Just sayin . . .