In today’s Gospel Story (Mt 14:22-33) some disciples are in a boat when a bad storm comes up and they are terrified. They see Jesus walking on the water and call to him. He tells them “Do not be afraid”, one of his most common messages. He invites Peter to get out of the boat and come to him. Peter does, but when he stops focusing on Jesus he sinks. Jesus helps him and says, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt”. The majority opinion sees this as a nice miracle story as Jesus continues to teach his disciples. The minority opinion will be as personal as I let it, and this is where I have a lot of power. Abba doesn’t force. Abba simply offers. When we are open to it, the Gospel Stories help us recognize Jesus happening in the ordinary affairs of our everyday living. The Incarnation means something, it is not just a nice idea. Jesus is in our life as it really is, every part of it. We don’t so much “find” Jesus as “recognize” him having been there with us all the time. The human experience of the Trinity.
Abba’s word is real and now. He is inviting us to trust that he is with us in whatever we are facing or questioning. He is asking us to look at our everyday living, and the choices we make, to look at the rest of our time on earth and what is coming next. Often, as in the Gospel Story for this Sunday, he is asking us not to be afraid, but to trust that he is with us in all our decisions and choices. Tine after time he is reminding us, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”. We constantly fear and doubt, at least I do.
On our journey of life we encounter occasional storms. “Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and precede him to the other side”. He made sure they were exactly where they needed to be to experience him happening in their relationship. When things get rough for us on our own journey, it’s worth remembering that we are exactly where we need to be for Jesus to be with us where we are. Will I recognize him, or am I too involved in protecting myself? Lately in the recent Gospel Stories and in other places it has been clear to me that there are some difficulties with my fear of things I can’t control. Over the years every one of them has involved something along the lines of “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid,” and ended along the lines of “O you of little faith, why did you doubt? We got this!”. You’d think that by now after years of this sort of thing I’d know better. The reality is I don’t.
I am exactly where I need to for for Abba to happen in my life, where any of us need to be to recognize Abba happening in our life. We are in the boat where Abba puts us, our own set of circumstances. As with all of us, everything that has happened in my life, everything I have done in my life, brilliant or dumb, every choice I have made, every relationship I have had, has prepared me for where I am at this point in my journey. Abba who has been in me throughout, willy nilly, is in me now as I am in Abba, as I/we face what ever it is that is in font of me/us here and now. With Peter in the Story, I/we say, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He says, “Come.” And so we step our of the boat, walk, trip, panic, and sink. Yet again Jesus will tell me, perhaps ironically, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”, maybe in less polite words and colloquialisms, or so I hope. This is how it has always played out. My fear of giving up control has been my worst enemy.
When I ask for help getting through my storms I need to be careful that I don’t decide what getting through my storm means, and what I want the help to be — I could very well miss the help I’m receiving since it’s not what I expect. This has been my story a lot over the years. Thankfully I think lately it’s been changing. One night years back, which I see as the nadir of my life, I was in my own post Vietnam inner storm, and it was a big one that had been going on for years. I was at the point where, oblivious to all the good that was happening all around me through wonderful folks, I had decided God was not going to help me with anything, so I was going to end it all. I was in the act of doing this when into my room came my best friend, a big Yellow Lab. He didn’t like what I was doing, and he physically stopped me from doing it. Abba was happening through Donny. My life changed that night, and began a fairly exciting process of saving and healing that is still going on. I wouldn’t change a thing.
As Christians, our commitment is to the person Jesus Christ, not to a code of behavior or series of dogmas, as important as these might be. Yet many of us have reduced our relationship with Jesus to just that —following laws and accepting beliefs and doctrines, always using the “correct” words, the “correct” scriptures. As we do this we feel justified in judging others as to whether they believe as we do and so are loyal and true Christians, whatever that means. We further divide this into various Christian traditions, all of whom have their own variations, and many of whom teach that they alone are the only true and authentic Christians.
Jesus’ words offer a good summary of this story in our today setting: we find ourselves saying, “Lord, save me!” And we hear back, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid”, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”, and what we’ve been hearing lately, “We got this”. Jesus is with us in the people around us. At times others walk with us in our storms, and at times we walk with them in theirs. We are never alone. Each of us is created with our own set of gifts and limitations, and often our limitations are others’ gifts, and so in Abba’s providence we need each other. We may have to let go of who we want Jesus to be, so we can come to recognize him as he really is, not out there somewhere, but intimately with us in everything. When we are weak, we are strong. We don’t always know this. We are all in the same boat, and we need each other. Why do we doubt? We got this. Just sayin . . . .