In today’s Gospel Story (Matthew 21:33-43) Jesus tells the Parable of the Vineyard. This is one that is not easy to summarize or interpret. The majority report sees it as a reminder to the people that what Jesus is teaching them is important, and they need to remember their history and their relations in the Covenant Israel had with Abba. As usual, the minority report will be as personal as I let it.
The Alleluia Verse offers a good theme to keep in mind as we read the Parable: “I have chosen you from the world, says the Lord, to go and bear fruit that will remain”. This is something a great many of us find difficult to take seriously. We have been taught that Abba is some kind of a “super person” who is “out there” somewhere keeping an eye on us, and hopefully we will meet him when we “get to heaven”. The verse reminds us that Abba creates us and loves us as we are. So many of us just don’t get this.
The difficult things we have experienced in our life so far might be symbolized by the “landowner who planted a vineyard, put a hedge around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a tower”. When we look back on our lives all of us have been through difficult situations — difficult or failed relationships, disappointments, physical injuries or illnesses, and so on. Everything that has gone on in our life has prepared us for where we are now. Perhaps the Vineyard is talking to me about Abba creating my life and my role in it happening. Might the tenants refer to me wanting to take control of life and make it easier and more comfortable for myself. I would control it all, and reject any one who doesn’t fit with my expectations. Aside from particulars, every one probably has had a similar journey.
My time in the Army has had a great influence on my journey. Some 50+ years ago when I very unexpectedly entered the Active Duty Army I began to realize that the questions I had the answers to were questions that nobody was asking. Their questions were real stuff, life and death and everything in between, eg: “where is God in all this?”; “how can God allow this killing etc to go on?”; “we’re glad you’re with us Chaplain, but where is God in all this?”. Celebrating masses and religious services in the midst of the nasty stuff was a new experience for all of us, including those of little or no religious tradition. Mass took on a whole new meaning well beyond what I had learned back then that is still happening and growing, perhaps different from established terms, but very real. Some of the Masses have offended liturgical purists, so I’ve been told. There was no correlation between what I was prepared for and what actually happened. My first several years were a very steep learning curve with fits, starts, failures, lots of commotions. For a long time I felt like a fish out of water. The military culture is so different from civilian life that folks outside it, well meaning though they might be, have no idea of what it really is. That’s not good or bad, it just is. As difficult and eye-opening as it was, I wouldn’t change a thing, although back then I didn’t say this.
Then, some years later when I separated from Active Duty and returned to civilian life, I wasn’t ready for that either. It was a big shock and a pretty steep learning curve. Again, the questions I had the answers for, very different this time, nobody was asking, nobody knew, nobody cared. It was a completely different life, really a shock in many ways. Yet, in retrospect, it all was Abba being Abba in my life, planting a vineyard, putting a hedge around it, digging a wine press, and building a tower, with me all the while kicking and screaming. Perhaps to protect myself from any more stuff, I became like the tenants in the vineyard, trying to control everything, operating from a position of anger projected outward so things were never my fault but always someone else’s. Then, over the years, Abba sent his Son into my life in many different folks and situations and medical events, an amazing dog, and even the unexpected recall to Active Duty while I was making the Spiritual Exercises. Often I treated Him as the tenants did in the Parable, not very nicely. Abba didn’t quit, though I really told Him often that I wish he would leave me alone since I already knew what I needed to “get to heaven”.
This sort of relationship, Abba working in us, never really stops. Usually we recognize it when we look back at our life journey and see and understand things differently. Sometimes we recognize Abba is working in us while it is happening, helping us gain new perspectives on ourselves and our journey, perhaps change the values we use to make our choices and decisions. Often this involves discomfort or dissatisfaction, maybe confusion, definitely uncertainty, as we try to make some sense out of things going on in us that we don’t understand, maybe don’t even like. As it happens, though, it is very real for us, especially when we can’t name it or say what it is. We just know it beyond what we can put into words. It flows through everything in us. It is an experience that we are aware of happening. John O’Donohue: “When you take the time to draw on your listening-imagination, you will begin to hear this gentle voice at the heart of your life. It is deeper and surer than all the other voices of disappointment, unease, self-criticism and bleakness. All holiness is about learning to hear the voice of your own soul. It is always there and the more deeply you learn to listen, the greater surprises and discoveries that will unfold”.
And so, the importance of a prayer practice that we are faithful to every day. Pope Leo with his Augustinian background tells us to look inward to search for Abba happening in us. Dag Hammarskjöld: “The best and most wonderful thing that can happen to you in this life is that you should be silent and let God work and speak.” He speaks from his own experience. Abba is always saying something. So, take the time, begin to hear. Just sayin . . .