Today’s Gospel Story (Matthew 16:13-20) is Jesus teaching his followers. The majority opinion sees it as scriptural “proof” that Jesus founded a church and made St Peter the first pope. Many contemporary theologians and historians see this a bit differently. They would stress that Peter is not the rock but Jesus is. As usual, the minority opinion is as personal as I let it be in my own life.
Jesus asks his disciples who people say he is, and then who the disciples believe he is. The answers are very different. For the people they quote the temple, the teachers, the religious system of their day. Their response for themselves, given by Peter, is significantly different from what the people say Jesus is. When it comes to their own beliefs, they respond based on the time they have spent with him, and their own awareness of what we would see as the Spirit working in them: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus tells them, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father”. He is telling them to trust their own experience. He also is inviting each of us to take the chance, and trust the Spirit to lead us on our own journey to knowing him. We begin our journey by learning what other people, our flesh and blood, tell us about Abba, Jesus, the Spirit. For most of us Abba has been presented as the supreme authority figure, just waiting for us to step out of line. Our image of Abba reflects this, and in a sense we learn to fear him as a super being or object “out there somewhere” keeping records on our sins, and who may or may not answer our prayers and do what we are asking him to do. In all this we see Abba as remote and uninvolved.
If we are to grow in our awareness of Abba, at some time on our journey we choose to lay aside what we have learned from flesh and blood and go to where all this points us. As did the disciples we choose to look for our own relationship with Jesus and begin to spend time with him. This involves a daily prayer practice of some sort which we are faithful to and which becomes for us a key part of our every day living. There are many such practices in our tradition, and there is no “one size fits all”. One of our traditions is that, when we are even thinking of becoming “closer” to Jesus, to Abba, it is because Abba, Jesus, and the Spirit are reaching out to become closer to us, and we choose to go where this takes us. Our awareness of Abba happening in our life becomes very personal. We are moving away from seeing Abba as an object, moving toward becoming aware of Abba as an “atmosphere” that pervades everything, “in whom we live and move and have our being”(Acts 17/28). Another word for “being itself”. The Spirit speaks to us in our life as it really is, not as we wish it were or as others, eg church etc, tell us it should be. As each of us is on our own unique journey, our own experience of Abba is unique to us, as it also reflects the common themes of our tradition, Abba is in us as we are in Abba. He is not off n the distance watching, but in and with us in everything. This shows the importance of being a synodal church, one that listens to each other as we try to respond to the Spirit happening in our lives. We are created to live in relationship. In the Hindu tradition, “Namaste” – “the divine in me sees and honors the divine in you”.
For many, following the dictates of their own religious tradition is the important thing. Most of these traditions are contradictory and see themselves as the only “true” religion or way to Abba, and all others are wrong and in error. We come to experience that we don’t so much find Abba as recognize him having been in our life all the while. We both consciously and unconsciously try to be open to him in our daily living and the choices we make. Richard Rohr: “We worshipped Jesus instead of following him on his same path. We made Jesus into a mere religion instead of a journey toward union with God and everything else. This shift made us into a religion of ‘belonging and believing’ instead of a religion of transformation.”
A key element in Ignatian/Jesuit spirituality is finding God in all things. This is not something we can do just by deciding to do it. It is a process of prayer and openness that may take a while. As we move on this journey we find ourselves making choices. My own experience back in 91 might help here. I was doing the Spiritual Exercises and having a difficult time with giving up my need to control my life. After a weeks long period of prayer, finally I was able to pray with the Jesuit who was guiding me, “Take my will O Lord.” Then, out of the blue, the very next morning I got a phone call: “The Secretary of Defense wants you back on active duty now. Talk to your bishop and get back to us today”. Three weeks later I was back in the Army. Finding God in all things is a very practical journey full of surprises. Karl Rahner, SJ: “I do not understand what God is. No one can. We have intimations, and inklings. We make faltering attempts to put mystery into words. But there is no word for it, no sentence for it.” Yet, in some sense we “know”.
On my own journey of injuries, illnesses, health issues, dumb choices, it has become obvious that Abba really is a verb. My HAC (Heart Attack in the Car) helped bring things into perspective. Everything is of Abba. I don’t know how to put onto words who I think Jesus, Abba, Spirit is. Trinity is most real to me happening in my everyday living, constantly surprising me, making me “travel Light”. The closest I can come is several of the dogmas I walked away from and now see in entirely new depths. Each of us is on our journey of growth and transformation, which we can accept or not. It seems to me that everything is the ongoing revelation of Trinity. We are invited to a faith relationship that listens. Abba truly has a “sense of humor”. My journey is a proof of this. Just sayin . . .