In today’s Gospel Story (Mk 4:26-34) Jesus says to the people, “This is how it is with the kingdom of God”. He goes on to talk about a seed being planted, and what happens to it while it is in the ground growing, and how the growing happens. And, he says about the farmer, “he knows not how”. He is talking about the mystery of growth which we all experience in our life, often unaware, like the seed that grows underground while the farmer knows nothing about how it is happening. The kingdom of God is not something that comes later after we die. It is us as we do our best to live a life that is complicated, difficult, often unfair, and at times tragic, moving in and out of each other’s other’s lives on our journey. Jesus lives Abba’s love for everybody and every thing, and encourages us to let the Spirit show us how to imitate him in our life. He sends the Spirit to help each one of us learn what it means in our particular circumstances, to live as his disciples. When we open ourselves to the reality of the Holy Spirit, of grace, we have no idea where it will take us, but it will be an exciting ride. Later in the Story, Jesus talks about the small mustard seed and how it grows and becomes a large plant. This might be about what happens to us when we let the Spirit into our every day living. We find ourselves changing, growing, often not knowing how all this is happening, but aware that something is going on.
I know not how. I can’t help but think back to the experience I had in the car in the parking lot during my heart attack. It had, and is still having, great impact on me, at very deep levels, perhaps my own experience of dying and rising, the cycle of life for everything and everybody. As with the seed growing hidden in the ground, I am aware of things happening in me that I don’t understand but accept as real, because to me they certainly are real, whatever they are. I am becoming increasingly and uncomfortably aware of my personal faults and failings, but also of God’s tremendous love, mercy and compassion happening in my stumbling. It’s all very real. This experience seems to me to be a reflection of the mustard seed growing , affecting every part of my life. Again, something I don’t understand, but accept as real. As Jesus said about the farmer, “he knows not how”, I feel the same way. I don’t know what is going on. There is no doubt in my mind that there is healing happening, and, at times, it has passed on to others. Even though I don’t see it, others say they experience it. Relationships begin, change, and grow in many different directions. A humbling experience. My ongoing question is, how far am I willing to be open to the Spirit and seriously go where She takes me? How much control am I wiling to give up? Am I just talking or am I willing to act? I wonder.
In the Gospels Jesus brings healing to the people he meets. Any of us who are serious about following Jesus have to take a serious look at this in our everyday living. Is Jesus asking us to move in this direction? Following him involves serious work on our part. He promises to send the Spirit to help us know what it means for us in our particular circumstances, to live as his disciples. When we open ourselves to the reality of the Holy Spirit, of grace, in our own life, we have no idea where it will take us, but it will be an exciting ride. Later in the Story, Jesus talks about the small mustard seed and how it grows and becomes a large plant. This might be about what happens to us when we let the Spirit into our every day living, moving us in a direction at times beyond religious traditions, but to where serious religions point us. It is not a matter of having the right answers, but of being open to the Spirit wherever She takes us in our ordinary everyday relationships and encounters. No simple thing. Personalities can be a challenge.
There is more to living as Jesus’ disciples than “going to church”, believing the right things, and keeping the rules. It is not a passive experience or a spectator sport. God happens in our life as it is, with all the annoyances, sufferings, joys, people. Reflecting the Story, Jesus ‘speaks the word to us as we are able to understand it’. As the word touches us, and if we let it, we begin to grow, to change, to shift our priorities. There is something to be said for the hard earned wisdom of age. As we all know, it has been a long journey filled with challenges, and we have done well, although we might not see it that way. We have made it thus far, and we are ready for whatever is coming next. We may even be looking forward to it. Thanks to the car experience, I certainly am. “Through it all the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how.” We really don’t have to know. Coming to trust is a big step, and a liberating one.
Prayer becomes increasingly important. Sometimes it’s just spending quiet time with God, not asking or thanking, as important as these are. It might be difficult for us to learn this, but it is worth the effort. There are other times for praising, asking and thanking. Now I just try to be quiet with a good loving friend. It is not about changing God, but about letting God change me, consenting to what God is doing in my life. We are quiet together. Saying prayers is not always prayer, but is a good place to start, willing to go where it will take us. Prayers often focus on our own ideas of how things should be, whereas prayer is an attitude of trusting openness and consent to what God is doing in our life, letting go and letting God, who becomes not something we have to believe, but a real living experience happening in everything. We find we are learning to let go a lot, kind of like getting rid of the “stuff” in our closets and attic. There is a sense of freedom that comes with it.
God’s kingdom is not place where we go after we die. God’s kingdom is happening now. The seed is growing now. The Spirit is offering to guide us now. While this may be personal to us, it is never private. It involves every one who is in our life now, and all creation we live in now. Everything, every one, all creation, is of God. Abba is all around us and in us, and we are in Abba. All creation is God being God, and showing us God. Again as with the farmer, “he knows not how”. Lots of wandering and wondering, very little knowing. Just sayin . . .