Among other things in this Story Jesus is telling his followers that he is not like a cop who is enforcing rules and looking for violators. He is not running an exclusive club that is open only to folks who keep all the rules and use only the approved language. He is interested in teaching and healing, and this is what he wants his followers to do too.
If I am serious about really doing my best to follow Jesus in my life, the Story is reminding me to continually look at my motives and goals. Is what I do about Jesus and his folks, or is it really about me and my comfort? Am I open to the Spirit reminding me of what Jesus is teaching me about being his disciple, perhaps in the process learning things about myself that I don’t want to know? How much do I judge others as to whether they are “orthodox”, or agree with me and think as I think they should? How much is about me, and how much is about the Spirit? Am I willing to learn, am I still wrapped up in the comfort and security of answers? Do I practice what I preach?
With three separate, distinct, and greatly different communities I am celebrating Eucharist with this weekend, how open am I really to letting the Spirit guide me perhaps indirections I can’t fathom now, since I can’t seem to organize any thoughts for the homilies? Am I interested in learning along with the folks, or is my focus on being a character, on standing out as different, or being unusual? I just don’t know.
Then, also, there is the request from a former student of a long time ago, to spend some time together tomorrow evening. I just don’t want to do it, and I gave a lame excuse about being worn out after masses, which is true, but a cop out. That was then, this is now. She is a combat vet, so my role as chaplain is to see her.
But I just don’t want to.
Not sure where to go with all this. I’ll just stop now and go get a flu shot at the VA.
