Today’s Gospel Story (Luke 14:25-33) seems kind of intense. Jesus realized that many were not taking his teaching seriously, so he became more forceful. He was teaching people who were heavily influenced and affected by the temple and roman cultures, and questioning some of their values. Many just walked away. “To whom shall we go? You have the words of everlasting life.” The majority report often sees this as something to be feared, almost as a threat. Many of us need a god who is threatening and punishing, and are not comfortable with a God who is loving and compassionate, the Abba that Jesus shows us. As usual, the minority report can be different in any number of ways, depending what is going in in our life as we read it, and also on where we are on our journey with Christ.
“Let your face shine upon your servant; and teach me your laws”. As I sit here this morning in my quiet corner with these words, they say so little, so much. May I see who you are? What are you asking of me? On my wall among several icons hangs one which says simply, “Be still and know that I am”. I am anything but still. Perhaps if I can just look at your face, let you be whoever you are, I might see that you have any number of faces, the people in my life, and what you are asking of me is to recognize you in every one of them. Sounds nice, but it is neither nice nor easy.
Our relationship with Abba, with Jesus Christ, with the Spirit, is an intensely personal experience that is a significant impact on our entire life, including all our other relationships. Our values begin to change in many ways, and all the people in our life become ever more important, even necessary, for our journey. Life happens in ways we don’t understand and cannot control, even though it’s us in the middle of it. There is a great sense of freedom when we move towards welcoming what we don’t understand, and gradually become aware of Abba happening in our life in very specific ways. We come to understand what Jesus meant when he said so often, “Don’t be afraid”.
For some reason right now I’m thinking back to an Infantry School training operation off Hurlburt Field Florida in the middle of the night. A Coast Guard cutter had dropped us off just barely in sight of land, and we were to assault the beach at first light. We were rowing in RIBs (Rigid Inflatable Boats), along with debarking the cutter by rope ladders, all in the dark, quite an experience. The weather was not cooperating, but we made it. A lesson back then was trust your training, trust your equipment. Perhaps what Abba is saying now, is “trust me, trust your prayer, trust your past, do what you feel will deepen my life in you”. Don’t be afraid. Don’t hide.
“Anyone of you who does not renounce all their possessions cannot be my disciple.” While the early christian communities knew Jesus was talking about practical goods, there are also other ways of understanding this in our own day. Perhaps among my possessions is how I act when I don’t like how my life is going. The present moment is my only true reality, the only place I can encounter Abba. There’s tremendous freedom that can come from learning to turn towards all of it with an open heart, rather than pushing away, perhaps even feeling sorry for myself, or inflicting my pain and anger on others, fighting against what I don’t think should happen. Spent years living that way. When I don’t like my present situation and fight against it for no other reason than it is not what I want, I am saying no to Abba. I’m learning that “I want” isn’t important. But, what is, is, and it is real, my only reality, the only place I can find Abba. If I can give myself permission to recognize Abba happening in my life every day I am opening myself to a joy and peace that I would not expect, even, or especially, in the worst situations.
“First sit down and calculate the cost”, and “king marching into battle would not first sit down and decide whether with ten thousand troops”. These verses seem to be telling me to know the signs the times, to be aware of what is going on in and around me. What is my reality as I see it? What do I notice? What am I aware of? I need to be aware of what is going on in and around me, to help me frame, with the guidance of the Spirit, my efforts to live as Jesus’ disciple in my own circumstances. Jesus asks us to prioritize our identity or role as his disciples and let him show us how to live these situations.
Recently with health issues I’ve begun to experience Reiki and Chakras. I have had the privilege of meeting fine people I would not have met otherwise, and for which I am grateful. Through them I am experiencing Abba’s loving care for me, even though there is no religious context. Abba does not limit himself to my ideas and images, and I can learn from wonderful folks whose traditions are different from mine. We are all on our journey, and at different times we walk with different people. I believe this is Abba being Abba in my life, and I am most grateful.
“Whoever does not carry their own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple”. Carrying our cross can just be the normal difficulties of human existence. It can also be our efforts to do the right thing, especially when the right thing is not popular, telling truth to power, perhaps at great cost. I have seen many instances of people paying a high price because they did the right course of action even though it was not a popular or easy choice. They took their oath seriously. My reality can be my own cross. Through the cross comes life, as Jesus shows us. Our desire to follow Jesus, to be his disciple, becomes an increasingly important part of our daily living, if we are willing to let this happen. It is a commitment that we make to be open to Jesus in our own daily living. Gradually it infiltrates and impacts our whole life, our relationships, our goals, again if we let it. The basis of our choices moves toward “what better leads to the deepening of God’s life in me”. Just sayin . . .