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In this Sunday’s Gospel Story (Mk 10:2-16), Jesus says, “Amen, I say to you whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” In the Psalm we pray, “May the Lord bless us all the days of our lives”. I’m not telling anybody else how to I’ve, just noticing what’s going on in me at this time of my life. Also, I’ve been asked why I use Abba to refer to God. Abba is how Jesus addressed his Father. “God”, “Father”, have a heavy load of notions that are to difficult to move beyond. Abba is a safe word, at least for me.

We “process” the Scripture readings through the filter of whatever is going on in our life as we read or hear them. Like so many other folks, I have a few things going on in my life. What I am becoming increasingly aware of lately is the reality that Abba is very involved in the ordinary affairs of my life. This also means that Abba is very much involved in the ordinary affairs of everybody’s life. Whether or or not any of us are open to realize this depends on how we see Abba. Is our image of Abba some kind of super person out there who gets involved occasionally, but rarely? Maybe plays favorites? Is Abba someone we are afraid of  because we see him as a stern judge just waiting for us to step out of line so ho can punish us? It is amazing how many people see Abba this way. Many don’t like this, so they just walk away. With the nastiness all around us these days, it is easy to let it all affect our view of Abba and just ignore him, or blame him.

For Jesus, the Kingdom of God is something that is happening in and through us now. He does not limit it to after we die. He asks us to see the Kingdom of God like a little child, to be amazed and wondering, not feeling we already have all the answers and everything figured out. It is easier to look back at our life and sense that something or someone has been guiding us along. If we try and are open, and maybe willing to learn and perhaps change, we can come to recognize Abba involved in our life right now. If I’ve learned anything in the past few weeks, it is to be amazed at all that Abba is really doing in and around me. At times I’ve felt like a little child on Christmas morning opening all the gifts, and there have been and are many. I realize not everybody would see many of them as gifts, but I certainly do. If I did not have these “setbacks” there are many wonderful folks I would never have met. While at times uncomfortable, none of this is bad.

God is with me and in me in everything. I’ve noticed that I’m increasingly grateful for everything, and becoming willing to welcome and accept everything that is coming into my life simply because it all is of Abba. As frightening as it is at times, I don’t feel the need to try to change anything. Just do my best as every situation presents itself. For some this makes no sense, but for me it is real. I’ve noticed changes in my ordinary behavior that I didn’t choose or plan. Thanks to the magic of Alexa, this morning I’m listening to “Why me?” by Kris Kristofferson. This song has a profound meaning for me that involves a special trip through the Alps some years go with a wonderful person who was really down on himself, and had no idea of how good he really was. It seemed back then that Abba was asking me to help him, and I felt humbled and grateful that Abba had chosen me. Amazing things happened. The Alps will do that to a person. With all that is going on in my life these days, I feel the same sense of profound gratitude now for so much and for so many people, every one of whom is Abba happening in my life. There is a special place win my heart for the nurses and PCNA folks and staff of so many places. I hope I’ve learned from them.

While I didn’t choose to move in this direction, it just happened. I’ve noticed that I’m increasingly grateful for everything, and becoming willing to welcome and accept everything that is coming into my life simply because it all is of Abba. As difficult as this may be at times, it offers a marvelous sense of peace and freedom. I don’t have to control anything. For some this might not make any sense, but it is real to me. I’ve noticed changes in my ordinary behavior that I didn’t choose to make. It’s all grace. It’s kinda like walking slack on patrol with Jesus, who is very real, walking point.

The words of the Psalm, “May the Lord bless us all the days of our lives”, have been happening throughout my life, but often I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn’t know it then, especially in my angry years. I sure know it now. If we are open to it, we will find them happening in our ives too. We might have to let Abba’s Spirit guide us through change and growth in how we see Abba. It’s well worth the trip. It’s one thing to know about Abba, and we can do this by studying, reading, finding a website. It’s quite another thing to know Abba in our own experience. This does not happen by a process of thinking or logic, but only through and in prayer. When we feel we have Abba all figured out, we can be sure it is not Abba, but an image we have created for ourselves so we can feel good and have some sense of control. When we experience Abba there is no control. We just say yes to what is, and gradually we move towards a sense of peace tinged with a joy that we can’t explain, but somehow we know it is good. I don’t know how all this is going too play out. It could go on for years, or not. To me it’s all Abba happening, and I am most grateful. Wondering a bit, but most grateful. Just sayin .  .  .