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In today’s Gospel Story (Mk 10:35-45) Jesus’ disciples ask him what’s in it for them. They all want something because they had spent their time being with him. What’s in it for us? A lot of how we see this Story depends on how we see God. Many of us were raised to see God as a person of infinite power who is out there somewhere making things happen. When we see the tragedies, such as war, hurricanes, floods, plagues, etc, we wonder why God didn’t stop them from happening since he is all powerful. As humans we seem to have a fixation on power and control. As Jesus showed us, Abba isn’t interested in power and control. He took the worst we had to offer, and still loves us. He creates us with free will, and is willing to go where it takes us, which have been some pretty nasty places. None of this is simply passive. I have an essential part in how I deal with it all, how much I am willing to believe in and trust Abba in my everyday living. Now, what does this all mean when “the Son of Man came to serve, not be served”. How is Abba asking me to serve?

When Christ became one of us in Jesus he showed us all we can know about God in our human condition. One thing was clear — God does not have the same fascination with power that we have. He did not come down off the cross. He did not buy into the temple system, or destroy the Roman system. He did not ignore anybody ever. He actively opposed any persons or systems, religious or political, that hurt people to protect their own power. He did two significant things on a regular basis: he spent time in prayer with his Abba, and then he wondered around accepting and welcoming anyone whom Abba brought into his life. This is what he asks his followers, his disciples, us, me, to do, and it is not easy. We have to let go of a lot that we think is important. It’s a pretty personal experience. 

At times in our lives things happen which are great opportunities for us to know ourselves, to grow, to realign our priorities. We can either face them or turn away, pretending they are not there. These are by their nature intensely personal experiences and opportunities. We have the chance to look at what is important to us, why it is important to us, where it has taken us so far in our life, and ask ourselves if this is where we want to be. If not, we have the opportunity, in army terms, to fall back, adjust fire, and re-engage, to realign our priorities and goals. We might find that power and control are not so important.

In my own life I have always wanted some sort of control over everything that affected me, probably a result of my training and past life. Sometimes I was successful, other times not so much. These days I’m learning that such a desire for control is really not good, because when I don’t have it I feel frustrated, and these days there is little I really can control. With the gifts God is giving me I feel wonderful at not needing to control. It is a marvelous experience knowing the freedom and peace just to accept, even to welcome, everything that comes into my life every day, and night, because it is of Abba. I also feel a deep sense of gratitude for things I never even noticed before.

Something else I’m becoming aware of are the people I see every day and have not even noticed. They are beautiful and wonderful. How could I have missed them, not noticed them, for so long? A couple times in the last few days people have said to me, “Thank you for seeing me”. This reminds me of the film Avatar, where the greeting “I see you” is a way for the Na’vi people to express that they understand, accept, and embrace another person. Wow. All I did was say hello to them, share a smile. Might there be a message in this. Grace?

Jesus tells his disciples, and me, if I am his disciple, to be alert to the people Abba is bringing into my life, to “see” them, and let Abba show me “in the moment” what it means to serve them. Everything happens in the moment, including grace. I need to be alert to this. I know grace is real, and often it is surprising, even amazing. I can’t plan everything out, no matter how hard I try. As did Jesus, I need to spend time with Abba in prayer, and then go about my day welcoming everything that happens, everyone I encounter.

Then there are my prejudices, which are many, most of them at the subconscious level but have a big impact on my everyday living. These have to be let go of, not a simple process. It is humbling to realize that I even have them, what they are, and not easy to get rid of.

Following Jesus is not something transactional, a quid pro quo — I please Abba, so later Abba has to let me into heaven. It is a matter of living in my here and now, and being open to the Spirit showing me how to help others with their burdens. This is a hard learning experience, because I have burdens too, as do all of us. I focus on my own difficulties, and so I miss others’ crosses. Perhaps what I look at as my burdens are gifts I haven’t yet recognized.

We are in each others’ life by Divine Providence. It is all Abba being Abba for us as he was for Jesus. Jesus was the Word of Abba, and each one of us is a word of Abba. Welcoming everything that comes into my life, while it might seem to make no sense, offers a deep sense of freedom, which itself leads to peace deep within me, even, or especially, in a setting of big challenges. I begin to get a sense of I am not that different from others. Our stories might not be the same, but we each are on our journey from Abba, with Abba, to Abba, with varying degrees of awareness of this. I think I’m increasingly aware of mine, and I wouldn’t change a thing. And the journey continues.  Just sayin . . .