October 13, Word

First Reading (Wis 7:7-11),“I pleaded, and the spirit of wisdom came to me”. Second Reading (Heb 4:12-13), “the word of God is living and effective, . . . and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart”. Gospel (Mk 10:17-30), “How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!”. Each of today’s Mass Readings from which these lines are taken is worth spending time with and reading carefully. They have a lot to say about personal growth in our relationship with Abba.

In the Gospel Story the rich young man wants to follow Jesus. He already keeps the commandments, but Jesus says there’s more, and tells him to sell what he has and give it to the poor, and then follow him. Few of us can really sell all we have. But there are other kinds of wealth — ideas, feeling, expectations, power, concern for myself and what I want, my desire for control? I have to ask is there something I’m holding on to that keeps me from moving more deeply into my relationship with Abba? With all that is going on, is there something else Abba is asking me to let go of? No doubt there is, and it probably has something to do with people. The kingdom, salvation, is not about Abba and me. It’s about Abba, everybody in my life, and me. It is a group thing, it includes all of us. While it has its personal aspect, it is in no way private. Salvation happens now as we help each other grow into the fullness for which we are created. Each of us, as we are now at this point in our life, is at the only place we can be to grow more deeply into our relationship with Abba, and it is a good place. We might not think so, but here is where we lean to trust in Abba as Jesus did. We don’t need to beat ourselves up for not being “ideal”.

God’s word in today’s readings: “the word of God is living and effective, . . . and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart”. When I am open to the possibility and ready for what I might not want to hear, Wisdom helps me see what is keeping me from going deeper into the kingdom Jesus is talking about. The kingdom of God, salvation, is now as we grow into the fulness for which we are being created, not just later. The kingdom happens when I really let Abba, Jesus, the Spirit, give me insight in how to live. The kingdom includes everybody in my life, those I know, and those I don’t know. They don’t have to change, but I no doubt do. The question is how, what. Abba’s word in the Scriptures constantly offers insight.

One of the things that was very clear during my recent retreat was in a prayer that the priest who was hearing my confession gave me: “Lord, I am in this world to show your mercy to others”. Don’t think I’m very good at that. While I’ve experienced Abba’s mercy countless times throughout my life I don’t think I’ve lived it well with others. Abba’s word today includes the spirit of Wisdom, Abba’s way of looking at life. Abba is creating each of us as we are, so am I willing to see Abba’s face in the people around me, the people I don’t like for any reason, mainly because they are not as I think they should be for my own comfort? Is my comfort that important in the great scheme of things? And what about the people I don’t even notice?

I have the wonderful opportunity these days to re-evaluate so much of how I’ve lived and what I’ve done, and not done. Not everybody gets this opportunity, and really I’m grateful for it. I hope I’ll do well with it. I talk about making the standard for how I choose to act in anything, the deepening of my relationship in Abba, and welcoming Abba in me. I talk about welcoming everything that comes into my life today because it is of Abba. Sounds good, but do I mean it? I want to mean it, but things happen fast. What does “poor in spirit” mean for me? What am I holding on to but need to let go of?

I am fortunate enough to live in a good place with wonderful people. I look forward to celebrating liturgies with them more often than in the past, talking with them not to them. Not preaching, but listening and sharing. I hope I can learn with them what it means to live Abba’s healing love here and now, in our own community. Maybe to stop taking people and things for granted, learn to give more than I get. Every one of us has our issues. It’s part of life. So let’s look for the grace of each moment as it presents itself.

What am I trying to say here? It is not an accident that the people who are in my life are in fact in my life because this is where I encounter Abba. This is true for all of us, if we are willing to take the chance and be open, and maybe to grow. I am more and more convinced that everything is of God. Where for any reason I would put limits on Abba in who I will accept, Abba puts no limits on me. Abba creates us as we are, so we encounter Abba in other people just as they are. So as I move towards freely accepting people as they are, I am accepting Abba as Abba is. This is a pretty big thing, and a steep learning curve. Wisdom might be making some headway in my life, while probably I’m kicking and screaming as usual. I like to maintain some sense of control, but Wisdom is showing me I have no control at all, a tough lesson for an old soldier. I don’t know what is going on, and don’t need to know, but what is, is, and I am a part of it. A lot of this came into my life during my recent retreat, and I am most grateful for it all. I feel the desire to let go of a lot, and I seem to be doing it without knowing it, but becoming aware after it happens. I feel a sense of peace and joy as I wander around, and I enjoy it. Abba is real, and this is becoming increasingly clear to me.

God’s word is living and effective, especially in the Gospel passages for everyday masses. It offers amazing insights into my daily life, Wisdom happening, and are well worth the time to read them prayerfully, a good habit of daily prayer. With the nastiness going on all around us, it is worthwhile to be aware of the good that also is happening all around us, and in us, and among us, and because of us.  Just sayin .  .  .