The Gospel Story for the Feast of Epiphany (Matthew 2:1-12) is the Magi following the star that eventually leads them to the newborn Jesus. It is good to remember that the Gospel Stories are not history. They are theology, which makes them much more powerful. They invite us to be aware of Abba reaching out to each of us in the story of our own every day journey. The majority opinion sees this story as a “nice” part of the larger story of Jesus’ birth, as well as a hint to the journey each of us makes. The minority opinion can be as personal, even profound, as each of us wants it to be, as we make our every day journey through our life.
It’s worth noting that whenever we think of Abba in any way, Abba is reaching out to us specifically in our every day dealings with life. This is a long tradition. At times it can be very real, other times not so much. Pedro Arrupe, SJ, puts it this way: “Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way”. It is a journey we consent to in our every day living, if we want to, if we can believe it. As this unfolds we find our attitude towards everything is changing, no matter what our life is. It is not so much a matter of finding Abba as of recognizing Abba happening in our life in our here and now. It seems the first thing that changes is our awareness of Abba right here in us and with us in everything. This becomes a living experience. Not two, not one: while we are distinct from Abba, we cannot in any sense be apart from Abba. This awareness gets to be constant, and varies in degrees of intensity. Like with the Magi in their asking Herod for help, sometimes the star is obvious, sometimes not. As the song says, “looking for love in all the wrong places”.
Many religious traditions teach that this journey is possible, but only by following their rules and traditions. While they point us towards a prayer relationship with Abba, they can take us only so far. At some point we have to lay them aside and go where they take us. It can be an unpleasant experience as we question the beliefs and standards of a given religious tradition that we have been part of, and may still be. Doctrines, morals, and other standards differ among traditions, many of whom claim they are the only true and legitimate one. Sin and truth become relative and emotional. We might decide that we want to hold on to particular values at all costs because we like to feel comfortable and in control, and this may well be our journey. Yet also, we might feel there is something more. And this is where the story of the Magi offers us insight for our journey. It is not a matter of thinking holy thoughts, of putting Jesus first, of saying the right prayers or praying all the time, of doing Abba’s will, etc, but of living our life everyday just trying to do our best, as we reflect on who we are, and recognizing we do some dumb things. Benedict XVI taught that there are as many ways to God as there are people, emphasizing that Abba is reaching out to each of us uniquely in our own everyday living. Doing “Abba’s will” becomes less a matter of keeping laws and more an experience of living in a relationship with Someone who loves us more than we can put into words, collaborating with a good and close friend who wants the best for us. Abba asks us to be ready to be surprised.
Each time we lose sight of our star, wandering and wondering, it seems Abba is inviting us, leading us, to a deepening relationship and awareness. This happens a lot in ways that we don’t really expect pr appreciate. It might be that on our journey the Spirit leads us to a personal cross, suffering of some kind that enters our life for whatever reason — health issues, failed relationships, job loss, death of someone important to us, normal life transitions, failure of some kind. This can, if we accept it, or even welcome it into our life, move us to an ever deepening awareness of Abba in it with us that changes us at a profound level. This is not easy to deal with while it is happening, but looking back we can see the Spirit very much with us. As we look back on our life, we are doing it from a new place and vantage point that will become the stepping off point for the next part of our journey — “they departed for their country by another way”. We become aware of a deepening level of trust in our everyday living.
What seems to happen with increasing frequency is the gospels speaking to us in very specific parts of our every day living. We become aware of the Spirit in and around us, and of our responsibility to cooperate with Her in very specific ways. Abba, Christ, Spirit, are no longer remote. Abba does not send things into our life from out there. Abba brings things into our life and is with us. Abba is in us, and we are in Abba. At times this is very real. Fr Arrupe: “More than ever I find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life from my youth. But now there is a difference; the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God’s hands”. This is especially true with health issues. Teilhard de Chardin: ”Above all, trust in the slow work of God . . . Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete”. This can be as personal and real as we let it.
We can’t expect others to agree with us or even understand us. If there are a few who do, we are blessed and grateful. While we are aware of our journey happening we also become aware of others on their journey, and we may be able to help. God, Abba, is truly a verb, and we are part of this verb happening in and through us. With all that is going on these days, local and far away, we need a sense of purpose and courage, maybe even safety, and a deepening awareness that we are not alone in anything. We are exactly where we need to be for Abba to be in us and us to be in Abba. Everyone in our life reflects Abba, as do we. Something to keep in mind. As we realize this, we continue to go “back to our country by another way”, wherever it takes us. Just sayin . . .