Today’s Gospel Story (John 20:1-9 tells us “Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb”. The majority report sees this Story as a reminder that we are destined to experience our own resurrection after we die. Some would add that we need to obey certain rules and belong to certain traditions.
The minority report, what the Story says to me when I read it or hear it, has virtually unlimited possibilities based on what is in my life now and what has gone in in my past life on my journey. I need to look at them, perhaps pray with them, and go where they take me. So here goes.
This year what gave a jolting light to my Holy Week journey was what Jesus said to Peter when he didn’t want Jesus to wash his feet: “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later”. A while back, on a very bad post Vietnam night, after my dog stopped me from doing something drastic, I was trying to read John’s Gospel. I came across these same words in bright red print: “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later”. And then I “heard” in some way, “Do you trust me?”. I said “yes”. My life changed that night. The next morning I was in the hospital for some extensive surgery and the beginning of years of off and on (for what we know call) PTSD “counseling”. My healing process had begun, and it would take a while, many small steps and occasional big jumps, usually tied to some unpleasant experience or a major medical event. From time to time we still have that same conversation and things happen, but not to the extent of that unforgettable night.
Mary Magdalene started out in the dark to look for Jesus. That she was looking in the dark is important to me. I believe Abba is speaking to us in everything that is happening, and it is certainly dark. With all that is going on these days, it seems we too are looking for Jesus in the dark, especially if we believe Abba is speaking to us. As it was in Jesus’ time and has been throughout history, how he calls us to live is not compatible with humanity’s current values and attitude. Many time I’ve been told that the “gospel stuff is okay for church, but not for real life, don’t you tell us how to live”. This is clear in the daily headlines. It is easy to point fingers and accuse others of not living the gospel, especially when it is church leadership we are talking about. But, the Spirit speaks with us about how we are to live, not how others are supposed to live. These days we are living through a darkness. Many folks are being abused and made to suffer in any number of ways throughout the world. International agreements, relations, and policies are changing, violence is increasing, people in many places who are looking for safety are being abused and mistreated, innocent people killed. While we might say we believe that Jesus meant it when he said “what you are doing to the least of these you are doing to me”. There are a lot who do not believe, and many who claim to believe do not practice it.
The stone was removed and the Risen Jesus turned loose upon the world. Mary Magdalene at first didn’t recognize him until he spoke to her. I wonder if, while I am searching for him in all the evil and nastiness of these days, I don’t recognize Jesus because he is not as I expect him to be, or want him to be for my own comfort.
The Story tells us “they did not yet understand”. It would take a while for them to grasp it all. And so it is for us, especially for me. There have been many opportunities along the way, and I imagine there still are, that I haven’t recognized. One of the great gifts I’ve received was my heart attack in the car. It also happened on a dark morning in the parking lot of where I live. What all happened I can’t put it into words. My life changed and the peace that began there has never left. The experience showed me Abba here and now is real, and I am surrounded by unexpected goodness. Who would ever think of a heart attack as a gift, but I certainly do, all of them. Each in its own way has been life-changing, perhaps a resurrection.
As “they did not yet understand”, neither do any of us, especially me. The news every day is terribly disturbing. While I believe that somehow Abba is speaking to us in all this, I admit that I do not understand. I am searching in the dark, the stone has been rolled back, and the tomb is empty. The “Risen Jesus has gone ahead of you to Galilee, there you will see him” (Mt 28:7) where he had spent a lot of time. Perhaps my Galilee is the people who do not think or believe as I do, but who are doing gospel works, without any gospel or religious terms or involvement with any religion. I see many such things happening without any religion connection. Is the Risen Lord asking me to change much of how I think, perhaps to expect nothing and be open and ready for anything?
In his “Easter Blessing” the mystic and poet John O’Donohue reminds us, “let us let fall away the useless baggage that we carry — old pains, old habits, old ways of seeing and feeling — and let us have the courage to begin again”. I need to ask the courage to keep beginning again. The Risen Christ is always new, inviting me to unexpected and surprising thoughts, maybe even insights. Everything is of God somehow. Every person in my life has the right and the need to be in my life, whether I like it or not. No one is created to please me. I have many stones in my life, maybe that I am trying to keep from being rolled back because I don’t know what will happen. It seems I want to go to only the Galilees that I am comfortable with. My experiences have shown me that good happens even in the most unexpected places and people, and no doubt is happening there today. Walking on patrol in the dark these days can be frightening, and I need to remember I am walking slack while the Risen Jesus is walking point. We will have interesting and surprising encounters, even adventures, but isn’t this what is supposed to happen? Jesus is risen, and this really does make all the difference in everything. Just sayin . . .