In today’s Gospel Story (Luke 3:1-6) we hear, “A voice of one crying out in the desert: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths. Every valley shall be filled and every mountain and hill shall be made low. The winding roads shall be made straight, and the rough ways made smooth, and all flesh shall see the salvation of God’”. I remember being taught a long time ago that to prepare the way of the Lord meant more prayers, confessions, spiritual bouquets, etc. I know now that as nice as such things might be, they are of very limited use in preparing the way of the Lord. I understand it now more as doing my best, in openness to the Spirit, to live the Gospel in my everyday life. It would be a lot easier just to say more prayers.
I don’t have to prepare the way of the Lord to come to me, because Christ is already in me, in my life, as he is in all of us. What I have to prepare is a the way for him to have more influence on how I live every day. There is a great difference between how I talk about life and how I live life. I need to get out of myself, and let the Spirit show me how to live the Gospel. Everything starts with my inner attitude, whether I recognize what my attitude down deep really is or not. I don’t know how to prepare his way, since I’m too busy preparing mine.
“Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths.”I’m still trying to keep a sense of control over what I do. This is especially true with how I seem to be dealing with the recent test results. I am preparing my own way of the Lord, not his, telling him what I expect of him. While I talk about welcoming everything that comes into my life, it seems I’m pretty much telling him and myself how I will do things, and keeping my own sense of control and comfort. “The winding roads shall be made straight, and the rough ways made smooth”. I’m creating winding roads and rough ways. Thinking back to Vietnam, I remember revising my ideas of what was necessary to carry in my pack as I walked with other soldiers in the field. Like other guys, I began by carrying a lot of “stuff” that I found I really didn’t need. Gradually I started getting rid of stuff. Maybe this is what I need to do now, to let the Spirit move me in the direction of lightening my pack.
“John went throughout the whole region of the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance”. Repentance means changing where I look for my happiness. The final definitive conclusion of a recent test makes things pretty clear, and I see it all as a marvelous gift. It’s obvious that I am looking for some sense of control over how I deal with the gift Abba is giving me. I don’t know where to go with that. I like control, feeling I have everything covered and planned, how I want to handle it, how I want to feel. I know from experience that when situations arise suddenly, no matter how I plan what I will do, I respond to the present moment in whatever way is necessary, no matter what I had planned. It’s clear that I don’t need to keep holding on to the fiction of control. What I do need is deeper awareness of Abba being a verb in my life. “All flesh shall see the salvation of God”. I have seen this happen so much and in so many places and situations in my life. Abba has been very good to me, as he is now with all that is going on.
When I am open to the possibility, the greatest channels of grace are other people. I am doing much more receiving than acting, more passive than active. The gift has made it possible for me to encounter, many wonderful people I would not have met had I not been given the gift. Recently I have been fortunate to spend a great deal of time with doctors, nurses, and techs who did not know me, but obviously cared about me and were doing their best to help. I spent what to me was a long time looking at tapes and having good people patiently take the time to explain what they meant. None of them showed the slightest desire to hurry up and get it over and get on to the next patient, which is how I often am. This whole thing has been to me a remarkable sacrament of Abba being Abba in my life. These people really cared. I was even able to find a parking place at the Clinic, no simple thing.
Preparing the way of the Lord asks me to be open to the Spirit leading me on a journey of repentance, conversion, changing where I look for my happiness, letting go of a lot, and recognizing Abba happening in the messiness of my life as I try to get my act together and accept the challenges and consequences of what Abba is asking. The amazingly real variety and novelty of Abba, who is always new and surprising, defies description, and can only be experienced when I am open and ready. The more I let go, the more I see I have of what really matters – openness to “what is”, and “what is” is wonderful. No need to fret over the how, when, where, even with the constant reminders.
It “just happens” that the organization taking ownership of the place where I live has as its motto, “Do ordinary things with extraordinary love”. Sounds like a worthwhile goal for me, perhaps even a mission. Every one of the people I meet every day as I walk around the halls, do some shopping, whatever, is a channel of grace for me, as I am for them. None of us think of this too much, so maybe its time for me to start thinking about it, and go where it takes me. I can’t look at anyone from the perspective of do I like everything about them. The other night we had a memorial service for our residents and friends who died this past year. The Chaplain spoke movingly on the importance of every one of them from the youngest, an infant, to a centenarian. I keep thinking back to my experience last year during my heart attack in my car, and the peace that came with it. The way of the Lord is peace in the midst of whatever is going on around me. This peace is still in me. May I ask the grace to keep living it. Wouldn’t change a thing, only my attitude. Just sayin . . .