Today’s Gospel Story for the Second Sunday of Advent (Matthew 3:1-12) reminds us, “Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths”. John is urging the people to prepare for the Promised One who is coming. The majority report sees this Story as a reminder to prepare for Christmas. The minority report might be a little more personal.
“John the Baptist appeared, preaching in the desert of Judea and saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!’.“ Repent, metanoia, is not about saying we’re sorry. It’s a lot more demanding than that — re-orienting my life, changing where I look for my happiness. It is our choice to Iive in this direction, or not to. Lots of letting go, traveling light. Maybe even high speed, low drag.
“Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths.” What this means for each of us is something we find out from the time we spend with the Lord, here and now. Like the stories of the blind people that Jesus healed, we have the chance to ask Jesus that we might see, without telling him what we want to see. In these stories, and in all the healing stories, Jesus says something along the lines of “Let it be done for you according to your faith”. This faith is not just believing the right thing about Jesus, but believing in Jesus in a way that leads us to be open to Jesus actually happening in our every day living. Faith is primarily a response to Abba’s love, to Abba reaching out to us. “Our desire to thank you is itself your gift.”
iI I am willing to make it, my preparing the way of the Lord is a journey that does not stop,. It can be very demanding, a journey of wandering and wondering, of doubting and questioning, with very little “knowing”, but quite a bit of recognizing, all of which lead me to be more open to my journey and the people and events in it. Jesus did not come to offer a doctrine or belief system. He offers a journey, a way of living, that brings me closer to living as he did, and therefore as Abba calls me to. With every question comes a doubt. With doubt comes growth. Questioning is a gift of the Spirit as she moves me out of my safe place and into ever growing awareness of Abba happening in ways I cannot even imagine, until I recognize them.
Metanoia is not something I do out of fear, or a desire to get to heaven after I die. It comes from an ever new awareness of the importance of my life here and now, of all the people who are in it, and of everything I experience. It is about living here and now, moving gradually, often with fits and start, to the fullness for which I am created, in other words, salvation. Ongoing conversion of heart. Becoming aware of my responsibility to and for others in my everyday living. Perhaps the most impactful gift of this journey is the realization, the experience, that no matter what is going in in my life at any given time, I am not, nor can I ever be, alone. Sometimes this experience is obvious, other times not so much. This does not mean I will not experience difficult, even painful, times. It does men there is a “place” deep within me where Abba always is. It defies description, and always waits for me, often with surprises. “It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God’s hands”, Fr Arrupe. This becomes an experience, a real presence, not just an idea.
My journey of metanoia, if it is true and legitimate, will lead to having an effect on how I live every day. Henri Nouwen, “Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come”. Again, Arrupe, “Nothing is more practical than finding God”. It affects everything we do in our life everyday . . . As I look at the scriptures calling me to repent, change where I look for my happiness, realign my priorities, it is good to remember that there is a lot I don’t know, and there is a reality that invites me to be grateful. Faith is not a matter of knowing the answers, but of becoming aware that I live in a relationship with Abba simply because I am alive. This leads me, if I let it, to an attitude of gratitude, which is a good way to live.
Our ongoing journey of metanoia, repentance, leads us to let go of a lot, to be open to Abba who accepts and loves each of us as we are, something many of us have trouble with. The closer we get to the next step on our journey, the more we realize there is no need to be afraid of anything. The constant reminders lead me to be ever more aware of Abba happening in and around me in everything. Lately this has been reminding me of a lesson that I have to keep relearning: having things go my way is overrated. Letting go into what is and letting myself be led to what I have to do is what is important. The Spirit speaks in everything. Every one in my life is a channel of grace for me, sometimes in ways that might seem unpleasant, because they are moving me in a direction I might not want to go, and I am a channel of grace to everyone in my life, and I hope that does not seem unpleasant, maybe just strange.
Some current situations seem to me to be unpleasant and annoying, simply because people are not doing things as I think they should. Perhaps I’m dealing with some injuries here — an out of joint nose and a bruised ego. It seems there is in this a very specific call to me to take metanoia seriously, and go where it takes me. “It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God’s hands”. A worthwhile question here is what is the “Commander’s Intent”, what is Abba asking of me, what is my mission? I hope to get beyond the “I don’t have to like it, I just have to do it” phase. I’m not sure what that will look like. “Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths: all flesh shall see the salvation of God.” Salvation is happening now. Perhaps I need to just get out of the way and get with the program, my own metanoia journey instead of only talking about it. Just sayin . . .