It is an interesting experience to read the Gospel stories and put myself in the different roles — Jesus, the disciples, the people and bystanders — always ready to be surprised and see things differently. This traditional practice offers interesting insights and moves me into the depths of the Story. I’m learning to be surprised as it speaks to me about my own daily living, often in very specific ways. And so the Stories I hear this week can be as personal as I want them to be, or not. Holy Week is a grace filled opportunity to grow both in self-knowledge, and awareness of Abba happening in my life, if that’s what I want and am open to it.
In the Palm Story Sunday Jesus is focused and calm as the events unfold. He is aware that he is headed into difficult days without necessarily knowing everything that will happen to him. He is intent on doing what his Abba is sending him to do – show us how to live as we are created to live, and which we have continually either forgotten, or chosen not to live. In the Eucharistic Liturgy the Passion Story Jesus shares a meal with his closest disciples and tells them, “Do this in memory of me”. These words are not limited to celebrating Eucharist or Real Presence. Jesus is asking me to live as he had lived, even to the point where I like would be giving my life in service for others. This is how he is asking me to follow him and live. What does it mean? After all these years I still don’t know.
The Passion Story shows Jesus’ followers, and even some of his closest friends, but not the women, denying him and walking away because of their fear. He faces with lies, false charges, betrayal, physical torture, to the point where he feels truly alone, and cries out, “why have you forsaken me?”. He is left standing alone. Yet, the Story shows he is still calm as he face what is happening to him. It is terrible to be that alone and forsaken. And yet, he remains focused on doing what his Abba is sending him to do — show us how to live as we are created to live.
Jesus had a prayer practice that he was faithful to: go off by himself to spend time alone with his Abba. This helped him stay focused on who he was and what his Abba was asking him to do. These regular times he shared with his Abba gave him the strength to live his life, especially the final difficult days. My prayer practice when I am faithful to it, offers me insights to my daily living that I would not have otherwise, and might not want to see. No matter what is going on in my life, or what my experiences or feelings are, Abba is saying something to me. I come to see everything I am doing as a partnership with Abba, so I need to be open to my weakness and stupidity, and not let them get the upper hand. All of Jesus’ life, but especially these final days of his life, are a model for how he and Abba are asking me to live. They are not commanding or ordering me, just asking and offering to help. The choice is mine. The question is am I willing to learn and grow.
It is important to remember that Jesus did not suffer and die to please an angry God who was so offended that his anger could be assuaged only by the death of someone equal to him. Jesus lived as he did because he believed that his way of living, and what he was calling his disciples to, was how each of us is created to live. He believed this so strongly that he was willing to take the worst we had to offer, go through it, and come out the other side victorious and whole, to show us who we are. He did not save us from an angry God. He introduced us to a loving and compassionate Abba who wants nothing but our welfare and salvation, our coming to love as we are created to be. And so he is our redeemer and our Savior bringing us to our loving and compassionate Abba. And, as it was back the, many of us just don’t get it.
The time when Jesus lived was not that different from our own time. The people back then feared the end of their civilization from Rome and others, which actually happened when Rome destroyed the Temple and later destroyed Israel. We fear the end of our civilization from climate change, violence, disease, various movements, and terrible weaponry. When we look at what Jesus lived and taught from this perspective, we might encounter a new depth and meaning to his Gospel. As I look around me at the terrible things that are happening, I hear him speaking the same words to me today, here and now. The first thing I notice is that I am not doing a good job in following them myself. It’s easy to talk about them, but very difficult to take them seriously and even try to live them.
In our own day people are arrested, lied about, judged (not always), deported, families torn apart, and this enthusiastically supported by many who make them our scapegoats. It is easier to blame others than to face my own responsibility in the nastiness and evil that is happening all around me. A part of me that I don’t want to face. Am I willing to live in my own life and journey the lonely suffering and betrayal that Jesus suffered? Is Abba asking me to do this? I don’t know. But it’s terrible to watch. Being lied about, blamed, forsaken, alone, etc, is an awful experience. And yet this is what happened to Jesus. I think of so many of my LGBTQ+ friends and how they are treated, allegedly in the name of Jesus and Abba. It seems we are living our own “hour of darkness”, our own betrayals. Can I feel my own solidarity with all the suffering folks, or do I feel more with those who are ordering and causing these folks to suffer? Who in my life is the Story asking me to be aware of and reach out to? I live a comfortable life these days. Is the Story asking me to move in any particular direction that I’m not yet aware of? The fearful uncertainty over what seems to be coming in the country is upsetting. As Jesus says, “my kingdom is not of this world”. What does this mean for me today, here and now? Jesus’ suffering, death, and resurrection show us that evil will never have the last word, and good will always win out. What is this saying to me here and now? Perhaps to believe deeply, keep my prayer practice, and go where this takes me. Just sayin . . .