As always, we “process” scripture readings through whatever is going on in our life when we hear or read them. Today’s readings for the Presentation of the Lord are no exception. As we heard in the Gospel Verse this past week, “A lamp to my feet is your word, a light to my path”. I need to remember this as a real operational value, and not just a stated value. There is a lot going on these days that leads us to ask for the light to see and understand what Abba is doing. Our traditions calls us to live as Jesus lived. This is difficult and generates a lot of anger on all sides. Anyone who chooses to try to live as Jesus lived, or encourages others to do so, is in for a rough time. While this often has been the case, it seems especially virulent now, as recent days have made unpleasantly clear.
In the Alleluia Verse we pray, “A light of revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel”. We believe Jesus, long seen as the Light of the World, helps us see things differently when we let him. He is the light of revelation for any of us who want to know Abba’s presence more deeply. Simeon and Anna show the importance of being alert to recognize God happening in our life. For us this means the importance of having a prayer practice that we are faithful to every day. There is no one practice for all, no one size fits all. Our practice does not entice Abba to come to us, it keeps us alert to Abba happening in our life, often in ways we do not expect. Jesus was very severe in his criticism of systems, religious or political, that made people suffer. The suffering folks were very special to him, as they ought to be for me, and for any who would claim to be disciples of Jesus. I am not called to judge, but to help my suffering brothers and sisters wherever they are and however I can. My question is how to do this. The situation with “undocumented” persons is tragic, open to abuses which are happening. National security is important and necessary, and I can say this from my own experience, but there has to be a better way.
The government has decided that persons can be only male or female, and therefore certain people just don’t exist. Some official segments of the church, especially in America, support this decision, saying, in effect, we do not accept you as you are, we are right and you are wrong; we will tell you who you have to be, and do it in God’s name: “provisions in the Executive Orders can be seen in a more positive light, such as recognizing the truth about each human person as male or female”. I can’t imagine the pain this is causing people created in Abba’s image and their families, and I am privileged to know some of these good folks personally. Abba, what are you saying to me, in my particular circumstances? What does it mean for me to live as a disciple of Jesus? What are you asking me to do?
When I am aware of people suffering, it is not for me to blame them for their suffering, saying they shouldn’t be doing such-and-such, crossing borders, seeing themselves in ways I don’t approve of, thinking in ways I don’t like, etc. I can’t say I don’t like this, whatever it is, so therefore it is wrong because I am right. There is enough of that going around and it’s not doing anybody any good, just adding to the suffering. My responsibility is humbly go to Abba and ask “what are you saying me to me here, are you asking me to help the folks who are suffering”. I’ve learned always to be ready to be surprised, and then to go where this takes me, not expecting people to agree with me. It can’t be about me and my comfort. It has to be about being open to Abba in all that is going on.
These days of absolute meanness and cruelty require a whole new sense of trust in Divine Providence. Abba is not bringing this confusion, polarization, anger, etc. It’s happening because Abba gives us free will and allows us to use it. Somewhere in all this there is good happening. Folks are turning to Abba asking wisdom, grace, and courage to do what they can where they can, and not always using religious terms. This is where I want to be, wherever it takes me. I ask the grace of empathy, feeling with persons who are suffering, even suffering with them, trying to put myself in their shoes, asking to let Abba’s image in me reach out to Abba’s image in them, and go where this takes me. I’m not asking Abba to change anything, only to give me the grace and courage to go wherever he is asking me, and do whatever he is asking me whatever the cost (not sure I’m ready for this yet, times in the past have been painful, but I’m trying) perhaps simply to listen, to be there, and not react to the anger around me. I am not called to judge, just to “preach the word in season and out of season, with great patience”. Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde is a good role model. I wish I had her pastoral sense and moral courage. And Bishop Gene Robinson, “we can preach a judgmental and vengeful and angry God and nobody will mind. But you start preaching a God that is too accepting, too loving, too forgiving, too merciful, too kind, you are in trouble”. This is true.
I don’t want to go to Abba and say “this is what I want you to do”. There is enough of that. I hope to say, “what do you want me to do?”. I accept that, while I am not happy with the way things are going and so many persons are hurting and afraid, I cannot let myself to reflect the energy and conduct that I so dislike in others, to be petty, churlish, even cruel, and that what I dislike in others is also in me. I know I am capable of great violence and self-serving anger. I have to keep examining myself to make sure I never let these attitudes come to the surface ever again. It is easier to accuse others of what I dislike in myself, than to accept these qualities are still in me, perhaps buried deeply, but still there. Jesus is the light that helps me see Abba in this great mess, loving everyone on all sides of the issues. I have no answers, but a great many questions. I hope to keep wandering and wondering, going where it takes me. It’s been an exciting journey. “A lamp to my feet is your word, a light to my path”, I hope. When I’m willing, Jesus shows me/us how to live through his/my/our crucifixion to his/my/our resurrection. He is involved with me/us in everything. I can’t forget this. There is so much I don’t know. So many are hurting. Just sayin . . .