In today’s Gospel Story of the Visitation (Lk 1:39-45) we hear Elizabeth say to Mary, “Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.” Can I believe that Abba really has spoken his word to us? He certainly has, many times over the years, and I am just now coming to have some insight into it all. In a sense “God” is another word for everything. Acts 17:28 “in him we live, and move, and have our being”. Abba is not a super person out there somewhere. Abba is in each and all of us and in all creation, not one, not two. It is beginning to make real sense, and is not just an idea. God’s word to me constantly over the years has been, “I love you, and I will show you that I love you”. Looking back what has happened in my life, and even looking at what is going on now, for which I am most grateful, this is ever increasingly obvious. It’s not a matter of thinking or logic. Logic in this makes no sense. I cannot come to God by thinking. When I think, I am trying to fit Abba into what I know, which is not possible. It’s like a matter of knowing without knowing, maybe even non-knowing. Our tradition has a long history of this sort of thing.
In the Scriptures when Abba speaks to someone it often involves a call to something difficult and unexpected, a serious act of trust. Mary is an obvious example. In my own life there have been a few of those, unexpected and out of the blue. This is true for all of us. In retrospect Abba speaking is clear, while it is happening, not so much. Everything is of Abba, a gift, even though at the time it might not seem so. In a sense to paraphrase DDE, prayers are useless, prayer is essential. Prayers are something I do, prayer is something I am, how I live, a dynamic mutual relationship with Abba, with the Trinity, both of which are verbs. Saying prayers can lead me to focus on myself and on what I do, while prayer is living in trust with Abba, saying yes to what is, and going wherever this takes me.
Most of us have been taught in one way or another that we have to follow God’s will or we won’t be happy. Different traditions in various ways claim to know what God’s will for us is, and it usually means following a tradition’s rules. Yet God’s will is not a script we have to follow or else. It is a continuous episode of unlimited possibility and novelty, relationship, inevitably leading to something new, a relationship we work out with every choice we make. What changes as we grow are the values we use to make our decisions. The Spirit constantly is showing me how to live as Jesus’ disciple in my circumstances. There is no force, and most of the time I seem to ignore her and go my own way. Yet, She does not quit – with me or with anybody. She does not call me to know anything, only to trust and go where this takes me. And some of the places She has taken me have been difficult and painful. Abba is real, and I’m learning in so many ways just to let go of my comfort-seeking expectations and hopes, and be open to the reality that is. Not to plan too much, but be ready. This is true of all of us. We might recognize this in retrospect, but it is nice to have some awareness of this as it is happening. What is, is.
God’s word is never a put-down, either for me or for others. It is always a word of love, of encouragement. It is not a call to judge others, but an invitation to see the good in others with whom I might have serious disagreement. When I’m thinking bad things about myself or others, I can be sure this is not of Abba. It’s the usual way I think, but it is not Abba’s way. Many of us think of Abba as vindictive, and this is what we become, but this is not how Jesus shows his Abba. How we think of Abba impacts our whole life, especially how we think about other people. It is not limited to the Scripture or other “holy” things. God’s word happens in relationships, ordinary daily encounters, sudden insights, urges, and so on. I’m coming to believe more and more that everything is of God. A worthwhile question always is “what are you saying to me, asking of me, in this?”. And maybe, can I let myself be changed by what we are preparing to celebrate?
Recently I was given two items that offer insight into Abba’s word to me, to every one of us: “Belovedness”, by Sarah Kroger, which is on YouTube and well worth watching and hearing; and a poem which says, “You are God’s Beloved. All you have to do is act like it. Everything you do today is an opportunity to embody God’s love, not by your effort or skill, but by the love you embody”. Hmmm.
In the Gospel Story, Mary, having had the encounter with the angel in the Annunciation Story, travels to visit her cousin Elizabeth. When I have had some sort of experience of God it seems that it has not been just for me, but in the way things have happened, is a call to share it with others, a journey of some sort.
Lately I am coming to know of people who are suffering simply because how they see themselves is offensive to other people’s idea of God, for whom they claim to speak. They feel, and often really are, judged, and not accepted by family, government, even church. This is becoming increasingly clear these days. The high rate of depression, suicide, homelessness, especially among the younger, is alarming and disturbing. Fortunately there are many wonderful people working hard to help, doing Gospel work often without using gospel terms, and great good is happening. I wonder what Abba is saying to me in all this. I won’t presume to guess what Abba is saying to others. My on-going “yes” to Abba is not a one time thing. It is a way of living every day, and it is not easy. As I prepare to celebrate the coming of Christ among us as one of us, might I ask what this means for our sisters and brothers who are hurting so much without caring how it will affect me, and be willing to go wherever it takes me? Can I say, “Yes, Abba, and mean it? I hope so, but I don’t know. Perhaps I’m too full of myself and have to do some emptying. Maybe there’s a star I can follow. Maybe not. The thrill of questioning! Just sayin . . .