December 15 Peace

In today’s Gospel Story (Lk 3:10-18) John the Baptist is telling people how to live if they are serious about conversion and God’s kingdom. In the Second Reading (Phil 4:4-7) we hear, “Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus”. Then, in the Alleluia Verse, we pray, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor”. As always, we “process” God’s word through the filter of whatever is going on in our life when we hear or read it. This is what I am doing now.

“The peace of God that surpasses all understanding”. It certainly does. With the way many of us think these days, the peace of God makes no sense at all. For many of us God makes no sense at all. We look to Abba to fix things, to make things work the way we want them to work. We are probably unaware that others are praying to Abba to change things to how they want them, which are diametrically opposed to our ideas. The Gospel Story shows how I am called to live, not how I am to expect others to live. None of us, no tradition, has all the answers for everybody. I am asked to live my own ongoing conversion, open to the Spirit.

My own experience of the “peace of God” began about a year ago when I had a heart attack in my car in the parking lot where I live. As it began and I was unwrapping the nitro pill, I remember thinking, ‘so this is how it ends”. There was a strong “blast” of, ”no, this is how it begins”. And it went from a life stopping event to a life changing event. I don’t remember much other than an experience of total peace and goodness, which had a great impact on the next several days in CICU with the various procedures and interventions. I felt a peace that has never left. I welcome this whole coronary thing as a gift for which I am most grateful, and ask the grace to go peacefully wherever it is taking me. It’s kind of exciting because I just don’t know, and this is fine by me.“

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor”. These words speak to me in my life as it is, not as I wish it were or want it to be, or as somebody or some system says it should be. At times they seem to be directed at me, but I’m not always sure what they are saying when it comes to specific situations. This is true for any of us who are trying to live a good life. I do know that having things go they way I want is overrated. As John O’Donohue says, “May I live this day Compassionate of heart, Clear in word, Gracious, in awareness, Courageous in thought, Generous in love”. Any experience I have of the “peace of God” always in some way involves the people in my life.   

When we are open and willing to learn, to grow, to heal, the journey itself will guide us. This past week some “things” happened which reminded me I’m not being asked to know, only to be open and go where it takes me. In one instance, a girl from a parish youth group I had back in the 70’s wrote on her page “my experience of God is both as a Holy Father and Holy Mother presence. I also experience God as the animating presence in all life. But for the purpose of my post I am speaking to a Holy Mother and Holy Father. There are more complexities I could name but I will pause with this for now”. Wow. Also, a girl from another youth group in the 90’s asked me to record the prayers for the dying as she and their family were with her husband, whom I know from the same youth group, who was actively dying. In the years of their suffering she was kind enough to write of her ongoing difficult experiences, how she was continually growing in her awareness and experience of Abba in many unexpected ways. Both have been taking a chance and sharing their journey as the Spirit is upon them.

Both these “girls” (this is how I remember them) have come to to know God through, in, and because of their difficult journeys. They have encountered Abba in the difficult, profound, life-giving reality of their own lives, and have shared with of many of us the gift of their experience of love, reminding us that such a journey is possible for all of us in our own way as we come to the experience God as a verb. They have met and know the God who is well beyond the rules and requirements, threats and punishments, laid down by various religious systems. Abba is an experience which may involve letting go of a lot of thinking, rules and requirements and going where they point us. I can’t get to Abba by thinking or logic, only by love and openness. I come to know Abba who is both transcendent and immanent, well beyond me and intimately in me as I am in Abba. Something both women have in common is a desire to share their experiences of Abba with others, reflecting the Alleluia Verse, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor”, which they are doing in their own way. One feels she has a mission to share her experience of God with others whom the established definitions and rules just don’t reach. The other is determined to continue her husband’s work of helping disabled veterans find housing. Both are very practical situations that reflect the Gospel. They know the invitation to go beyond themselves and their own comfort. I don’t know why they remember me, but I’m kinda glad they do. Maybe I did something right.

In our world of today none of this makes any sense. So many of us are interested in blaming and accusing others, something that helps me ignore or avoid my own responsibility. I don’t have answers, only questions. Might I instead ask what the Spirit is saying to me in my limited role in all this? I am fortunate enough to live in a good place with wonderful folks all around me. Every once in a while I feel the Spirit of the Lord is upon me but I don’t know how to to “bring glad tidings to the poor”. I’m not sure what to do with all this or where it is taking me. Sometimes I feel I am only along for the ride. It’s good to be playing the “back nine”.  Just sayin . . .

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